Hi, my name is Dimples and I'm from Planet Crazy

Every time I talk to Dimples, I realize that he's living on a completely different planet, let's say, Crazy Planet. The way he interprets what we say is humorous and sometimes bizzare (hence, babies that turn into alligators and wear underwear-I still haven't gotten to the bottom of that one). It's like he has some crazy talk converter in his head that takes normal language and ideas and turns them into ideas and thoughts that absolutely no one-except for residents of Planet Crazy-could understand. Oh, and did I mention that there's a crazy Dimpled child language? Here are some examples of how Dimpled child interprets everyday occurences:

He refused cupcakes at BBQ because he thought the sprinkles were cheese (I wouldn't eat cupcakes with cheese either). I took A LOT of convincing before he believed otherwise. When he finally came around, all of the cupcakes were gone. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

He was adamant that he could see pigs on "Y" mountain. He told me they had sharp teeth and they were very mean. I inquired of him how they got up there in the first place and he told me that, "People frow (throw) dem (them) up dere (there). (Wow, if it were only that easy to throw livestock). I found out later from Manly Man that he told Dimples about wild boars in Samoa. How they got on "Y" mountain from Samoa I'll never know. I should ask him. He'll probably have a super answer. (So I did ask him today about the pigs and here's what I got, "The guy picked up the pigs in his car and took them to the mountain. It was fun. The pig bit the guy". "So how did the pigs come across the ocean from Samoa ?". "They jumped across". I could have argued with Dimples about the single jump from Samoa, but by now I figure it's pretty pointless. What gets me too is that he never ever hesitates with his answer. I swear he is hiding something from me).

Here are some fine examples of Dimpled Child language:

These are things he's said to Manly Man and I when he was mad at us: "You are a fart" and "You are nothing". OUCH! I can't decide which insult is worse.

When he wants his way he tries reverse psychology: Mom to Dimples, "I said no". Dimples to Mom, "You say yes!". Mom to Dimples, "You've been naughty, so the answer is no". Dimples to Mom, "Naughty means yes!".

This is how Dimples says hallelujah, "howareyouya". I added that for sugary goodness.