goings on in a nutshell....

1. I love that even though I'm just a Mom, I can still tell Darth Vader to stop playing with his food...And he will obey because around here...I use the Force (and coercion).

2. A new school is cool.

This is part of the library with a story telling area.


A HUGE gym for fun on rainy days.

This is one of the itty-bitty pottys for Kindergarteners.

And here's a picture of the entrance to the school. Notice the fancy "Timpanogos" Art Deco lettering? The letters were saved from the original school. Nice touch.

3. Lastly, finding a hidden safe underneath your stairs during demolition is pretty exciting, until you discover that there's only garbage left inside of it. Oh bother!

get thee hence clutter!!!

So I'm here trying to make a little more space in my two room cottage and realizing that I need to get rid of some stuff. I'm going to post some things and if you want them, all you have to do is leave a comment for it. The first thing up today is Fabulous Mr. T:


Okay, so he's lacking some clothing, dignity and perhaps common sense. But, his voice recorder still works and he says funny stuff like, "I pity the fool that don't go to school (ironic yes?)". Makes a wonderful white elephant gift. It may take me a while to get him to you as he seems to have gone AWOL (he's really popular around here), but he's worth the wait, I assure you.

Drama Mama goes to the library

Drama, drama. It follows me, I follow it. Here's a fine example.

It's a leisurely day at the library, only I can't seem to make my library card work when I'm logging Dimples onto the computers. Here's what went down that fine day:

Drama Mama: "Library Lady, why doesn't my stinkin' card work? (really, I just asked her what was wrong-really!)".
Library Lady: "Oh" she says politely, "You have a fine of $28 for a damaged book".
Drama Mama: "WHAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!" I say like a volcano erupting. Okay, so not really erupting, but in my head I could clearly imagine my head popping off at any moment. This eruption is followed by a lot of gasps, "no ways!" and then finally, "I need to see that book"....
Library Lady: "You can get more information at the circulation desk".
Drama Mama(now at the Circ. desk) : "Library Lady, it says in the computer that I have a large fine, I didn't do it, I didn't do it, and I need to see that book now!!!!" Okay, the "didn't do it" part is still in my head at this point but it really, really wants to come out of my mouth, cause I did not, for sure, damage any book!
Library Lady #2 : "Let me go see if I can find it". Library Lady #2 returns with said book and it is indeed damaged. She hands it over to me.
Drama Mama: I look at the book in horror. "No, I did not do this!", "How could this happen? It sat on my shelf, I never even read this!" "How do you know it's my fault?" "Do your guys even check them before they're put back on the shelf?".
Library Lady #2: "Yes, they're pretty thorough, this book looks like it sat in water for a while".
Drama Mama (in my head): Did she just accuse ME of letting a book sit in water like some kind of crazy fool who lets books sit in water??!!! Wahhh! I'm going to get her!!!! "We'll, I refuse to pay for something I did not do!". "I will not pay for it, I will not be checking out books today, and I'm never coming to the library again!!!!!". (Alright, I just said I'm not paying for it and left).
Dimples: "Mom, what about my Thomas books?"
Drama Mama: "Baby, the library said I ruined a book and they said I need to pay for it before I check out any more books. But I didn't do it, and we can't check out books today. I'm so sorry".
Drama Mama: (then to make more drama in the library hall, I call Manly on the cell) : "Manly Man, blah, blah, she accused me of damaging the book, blah, blah, I'm never going to the library again, NEVER!!!!!"
Dimples: "Library books?"
Drama Mama: "Sorry Baby, really sorry".
Drama Mama: (In the car now, driving). "I can't believe that they said I left a book in the water and ruined it, blah, blah, blah". Just then, my life flashed in slow motion before my eyes, "OH---- MY---- GOSH"....... and it hits me like a soccer ball, a HUGE soccer ball to my dramatized head.
Drama Mama: Like a vision of sugar plum fairies in my head, (but they would be really, ugly rotten fairies) I remembered a sultry, summer day. When was that again?. Oh yes, several weeks ago. I had taken the boys to soccer practice. I packed uniforms, treats, toys for squeaky, water, lots of water and........the book. Blasted, cursed library book! Then I remember water, lots of water leaking all over. And me saying, "Ugh, gross!" and tossing the vile, water-logged library book on the shelf where it sat all wet and lonely. Oh, why me!? I killed the book! I'm a vile, killer of books! Woe is me! I did it! I did it! And on top of that I made my baby cry. Please Mother Earth, open up and swallow me and my all of my drama!

And so, a few days later, Drama Mama tip toes back to the Library, pays the fine and checks out as many Thomas the Tank engine books she can find. THE END.

for the love of ice cream

Observations

When you are a baby, there is quite a large margin of error when you are eating. She's created about a 2 inch ice cream radius around her mouth (you can't tell from the picture, but she's got ice cream eyelashes too).

This is not, by the way, how we clean the table around here.



But, this is how we clean our clothes.


Lastly this is how we give hugs...if you're lucky.

I love you Mr. maker of duct tape.

Dear Squeaky,

For weeks you have tormented me, going around diaperless and unashamed, leaving a trail of Pampers in your wake. But now, you have met your match Sister. (insert evil laugh here)

love and marriage

So the other day as I'm giving Random his happy vitamins, I remark to Manly Man that I should give him the full amount, it being my birthday and all. Manly Man jokingly says to me, "Maybe you should try some"...............After he realizes that he should be putting both of his rather large feet in his mouth, I laugh and tell him that he is a very lucky man because, fortunately I have inherited the humor gene, and if not for my good sense of humor I would have easily whacked off his handsome head with my large talons. My thought for the day: Humor in a marriage...It's a good thing.

If I knew you were coming, I would have baked you a cake....

You know I was just thinkin' the other day, what would be like a really good way to give someone bad news or send them a message? I could use snail mail, phone or even email. If I were technologically advanced, I could send them a text or voice mail, but no, that's too impersonal. But wait, I think I've got it.. How about a cake? Yes, a cake would do, definitely a personal touch there.

This one here I would send to my very first college roommate who "borrowed" my socks and underwear without permission (like I would give permission anyways-socks, okay, undies-noooooo!):

This cake I would give to Random Child, after he told his be-ribboned, Kindergarten crush that he loved her and she laughed.



This one, well, I haven't really had an occasion to send one to anyone that I know, but if I do, you can be sure they're gonna get one of these:

These actually came from a very funny site, click HERE to go Cakewrecks. Ps. I don't want to start seeing cakes left on my doorstep if I've offended you.

monkey see, monkey do

I was completely crushed last night at the park when I realized that the little Squeaky girl I'm raising may not turn out to be a "girly girl" after all. After our family potluck, we sat on the grass to let our bloated-fasting-potluck tummies rest and I let Squeaky run wild like the monkey that she is. She was intently watching this doggie run around, play and do other little doggie things, like, doing his doggie business on the tree. Not a minute goes by and I notice that Squeaky is now by that same tree, with her diaper hanging off one leg and ready to mark her territory as well. Did I mention yet that I've already tried "human" potty training without success? And do you think that this may have anything to do with the afore mentioned baby leash? Anyone know of a good therapist?